My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize