Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
