just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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