how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
