And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
