oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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