i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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