just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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