Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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