Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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