I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
