What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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