She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize