drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it glows. i had to have it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
