There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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