Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
