OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize