I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
