Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
