she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
