I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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