no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
