Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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