Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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