He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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