actually, I'm a sock model
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
