using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
