she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
we should paint friendship bongs
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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