All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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