Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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