I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
