and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
