I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize