I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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