After last night, I could never be a politician.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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