something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
