My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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