he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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