I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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