So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize