I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
