Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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