is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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