he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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