He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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