I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
