I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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