so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
