I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
sex in a hospital.. check
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
