it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize