the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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