You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
