He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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