WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
