you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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