She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
