I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
