I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
