My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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