Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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